Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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