I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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