so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
