well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
