i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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