I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
