I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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