What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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