i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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