I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
