i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
