We named our party play list daddy issues
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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