All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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