This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
