I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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