Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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