You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
