Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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