i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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