Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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