after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
porn star boner night. come get it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
