don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
