he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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