what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
