Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
