Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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