I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
