I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
