We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
