If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
