when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
