C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
