i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
