I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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