Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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