No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
