he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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