I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
