I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
