You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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