I'm really into asian looking animals
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
