it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
