Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
