Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
