Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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