pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
