I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
