i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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