I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
