i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
