yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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