Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
